Well hellooooo everyone. I told you I'd succumb to my duties and return as WIR contributor. Let's take a look at the season long ASS 2.0 ratings. For all of those who have forgotten, this method takes each of the 14 stat categories for each of the 15 weeks we've played and squares them off against every other team's specific stats for a random weeks. Okay, so maybe that sounded really complicated. It just randomly pairs up one week's stats versus all of the other team's exactly 1000 times and gives a W%. So this one counts every week this season and I even adjusted Week 15's stats since it was a short week.
And here are the ratings from only Weeks 13-15:
So what we can conclude from this is that JP sucks recently, but in general he has underperformed. Therefore, he underperformed heavily earlier in the year and now there's nothing he can really do about it if he's going to keep sucking like this. He's almost as bad as TMac.
Grim also is expected to move up in the standings but recently he hasn't been doing well enough to do that. Abusement park has had a surprising past 3 weeks. He's in 6th place in the league and as we can see, there's a bit of a cluster in spots 5-7 to fight for 2 playoff spots. So Grim would be doing himself a favor by heating up now. The people in places 1-4 seem to have distanced themselves from the rest, especially Yung Joseph, who is trying to poach talent off of our perplexed last place manager.
And as for media, I have a few.
1) These guys are insane. Look at their thighs. Yikes. The 0:32 second gives me nightmares and I wake up in a pile of my own feces.
2) And here we got Keith Eloi with his buddies. The guy he's talking about who "jumped out the pool" has his video linked on the side after the clip is done.
I'm still getting back into the swing of American life, so be patient if these aren't up to par.
After much anticipation and because of the high demand, the Week Recap is back after a little bit of a hiatus. I apologize for the week off fellas, been crazy busy around here lately, and it's been tough to get the time to write a quality Week Recap. And we have not approached the doldrums of summer yet my friends, as I am still here and rearin' to go. Alas, I find myself with nothing to do for the next hour, and so here is this week's Week 12 Recap...
Religious Sects 10, The Common Team 3
Apparently I have some sort of jinx against Mike, because it seems I can never beat him. I suppose it is pretty hard to when my team has their worst week of hitting so far this season (really guys? one home run?!) I couldn't even grab K's from Caff this week, despite having six starters go in one day. My guys kind of took a week off this week, and it sucks that now both my third basemen are out (hint, hint...David's willing to trade for a three-bagger....except not from Joe). Congrats Caff, you are the better man...as you probably already assumed. Oh and you proved exactly why I ranked you number one in my rankings after getting ten wins in each of the past two weeks. Not as crazy as you though eh Joe? The Commish's forecasting skills prevail again.
Superhydrophobocity 9, Tony McDonald 3
Another week, another loss for Tmac. Oh, and JP's still in the bottom third of the league. Damn still unlucky even after we went past the halfway mark eh buddy?
Yung Joseph 9, Just 2(5) Guyz 4
Joe wins again, but is still stuck in second place. I will point out that Joe still has not reached the century mark in moves, which I thought he would have done a long time ago. Impressive Mr. Johnston. Luke's team didn't hit the greatest, despite Prince Fielder having a pretty solid week. But it's tough to beat a team that's shortstop provides one-third of the team's RBI's for the week, when Hanley Ramirez knocked in FIFTEEN runs all by his lonesome.
Abusement Park 7, Consistency 5
Another week, same story for Schneider. He loses a close one, but somehow manages to stay in first place still. This strategy may work now, but you can't move on in the playoffs by losing by one or two...Of course neither team is going to go very far when they combined for 37 RBI's among the two of them. Even if they would have paired up this week, they still would have lost to Yung Joseph in that category. Derek Lowe is making that whole Kemp trade look bad, but rumors have it Captain Consistency is making an attempt to reacquire the LA outfielder, but negotiations are moving slow because of the high demands from The General. Looks like they've even taken their negotiations to Facebook. Man, I love our league...
The Sandbaggers 7, The Poblano Effect 6
You know times are tough for Grim when he only manages to beat a team by one when their manager is out gallavanting around the world. How the mighty have fallen...I can't go that far though because as of now you are ahead of me in the standings, but still, your team used to be dominant. Big week from Aaron Hill to seal the deal though, depsite the strong week's from Berkman and Utley for Jack this week. Looks like Berkman finally realized the season has started...
Transaction of the Week
The Common team trades Matt Cain sp, SF to Yung Joseph for Kevin Slowey sp, MIN and Gavin Floyd sp, CHW
I wanted more pitching, and so this was the way to get it. Slowey and Floyd aren't studs, but they're both solid starters who I think will outperform Cain combined. Floyd started the year slow, but is picking it up real well, and Slowey and is having a solid year. Cain is also having his best year so far, but he also walks a lot of guys and so that leaves the potential for him to fall maybe.
Oly's Rankings
1. Religious Sects
2. Yung Joseph
3. Consistency
4. Just 2(5) Guyz
5. The Common Team
6. Abusement Park
7. The Sandbaggers
8. The Poblano Effect
9. Superhydrophobocity
10. Tony McDonald
Hot Clicks of the Week
Since it's the 4th of July, I'd like to go patriotic here and present the Best Play in Baseball History....
In honor of the USA's unexpected appearance in the Confed Cup, here's a soccer clip.
One of the worst Best Man speeches possibly ever...yes, the man tried to make an abortion joke at a wedding...
A sad, sad day for Minnesotans.
Text from Last Night of the Week...
(516): He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The How-To book on How to Be a Creeper....
Song of the Week
The '59 Sound by The Gaslight Anthem
There ya go fellas. Week Recap is back. Hopefully I can get some more content up here soon. Possibly this weekend. Everybody have a good 4th!!